1
00:00:02,935 --> 00:00:06,104
[♪]
2
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,747
Oh, yeah.
3
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,518
Aw, yeah.
4
00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:32,590
[sighs]
5
00:01:38,263 --> 00:01:40,765
Excuse me, miss.
6
00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:43,869
Is this man
bothering you?
7
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,912
Bud, I warned you
about eating all that cheese.
8
00:01:56,949 --> 00:01:58,383
Where are
the old people?
9
00:01:58,384 --> 00:01:59,851
Oh, uh...
10
00:01:59,852 --> 00:02:03,688
Well, dad's down at, uh...
The store.
11
00:02:05,057 --> 00:02:06,958
They're having that, uh,
midnight sale.
12
00:02:06,959 --> 00:02:09,027
You know, you probably heard it
on the radio.
13
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,528
They keep playing
that old song:
14
00:02:10,529 --> 00:02:12,897
After midnight we're gonna sell
a lot of shoes.
15
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:14,899
[sighs]
16
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,367
Work's a bummer.
17
00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:18,937
I'm glad I'm a pretty girl,
so I'll never have to.
18
00:02:20,239 --> 00:02:22,207
Oh, that reminds me,
where's mom?
19
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,808
Oh, uh, she went
to pick him up.
20
00:02:23,809 --> 00:02:26,077
We got a call. Something about
him flipping out.
21
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,955
♪ after midnight ♪
22
00:02:37,956 --> 00:02:40,291
♪ we're gonna sell
a lot of shoes ♪
23
00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:42,961
Hi, daddy.
24
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:43,762
Hello, miss.
25
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,565
You wanna buy
a lot of shoes?
26
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,800
Uh, I have shoes,
daddy.
27
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:51,136
Uh, he doesn't
recognize you, honey.
28
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,703
Shoes?
29
00:02:52,704 --> 00:02:55,273
Come on, sweetheart.
Sit down over here.
30
00:02:55,274 --> 00:02:57,242
Uh, we're home now,
sweetie.
31
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,710
You remember.
32
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,411
Two kids, a dog,
33
00:03:00,412 --> 00:03:03,948
A room upstairs
where you disappoint your wife.
34
00:03:06,652 --> 00:03:09,688
Well, there's only one way
to snap him out of this.
35
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,857
[muffled grunting]
36
00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:14,659
[gasping and spitting]
37
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:19,397
That's how
I like to see you.
38
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,967
Oh, peg,
it was horrible.
39
00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:25,970
Sixteen straight hours
of shoe-selling mayhem.
40
00:03:25,971 --> 00:03:28,340
Last thing I remember,
I was down on one knee,
41
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,842
Waiting on an overflowing
glacier of a woman.
42
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,911
The first thing they teach you
43
00:03:33,912 --> 00:03:35,513
When you're
a rookie shoe salesman
44
00:03:35,514 --> 00:03:39,451
Is when you got a fat one
in the chair, never look up.
45
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:42,320
I looked up, peg.
46
00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:44,389
I saw underwear.
47
00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:49,127
It said, "Saturday."
48
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:51,963
So what?
49
00:03:51,964 --> 00:03:54,232
Today's Wednesday!
50
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,900
[sobs]
51
00:03:57,936 --> 00:04:01,873
Anyway, the next thing I knew,
I was insane.
52
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:05,810
Take a good look
at your future, rat boy.
53
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:08,680
So, honey, tell us
what the doctor said.
54
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,249
Well, he found
two interesting things.
55
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,117
Well, that's two more
than I've ever found.
56
00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:14,619
I wonder where
was he looking.
57
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:17,322
[all laugh]
58
00:04:17,756 --> 00:04:19,290
I'm just kidding, honey.
59
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:20,791
We really do care.
60
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:23,395
So, what did
the doctor say?
61
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:26,131
Well, he said
from your home cooking,
62
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:29,100
My stomach
is the size of a quarter,
63
00:04:29,101 --> 00:04:32,103
And that I suffer
from stress.
64
00:04:32,104 --> 00:04:33,872
Stress?
65
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,974
How could you
get stress?
66
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,942
You don't do anything
but get up and go to work.
67
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:43,148
Well, maybe he got it
from a toilet seat.
68
00:04:44,249 --> 00:04:46,885
It would've shown up
long before this, honey.
69
00:04:47,953 --> 00:04:50,355
Stress?
Al, that is ridiculous.
70
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,191
I mean, how in the world would
someone like you get stress?
71
00:04:54,493 --> 00:04:58,329
Well, the doctor thinks
it might be the wife.
72
00:05:00,632 --> 00:05:02,199
Well, very nice.
73
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,134
So now it's my fault
74
00:05:04,135 --> 00:05:05,703
That you have
a go-nowhere job
75
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,972
And absolutely
no ambition at all.
76
00:05:07,973 --> 00:05:11,142
Why, you know, if it wasn't for
me telling you day after day
77
00:05:11,143 --> 00:05:14,245
To get up, get to work,
and do something for god's sake,
78
00:05:14,246 --> 00:05:16,247
You wouldn't be bringing home
the chump change
79
00:05:16,248 --> 00:05:17,382
That you already are.
80
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:20,218
Stress.
81
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,720
Mom, don't you think that we
should be nice to daddy,
82
00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:25,056
You know, with him
being out of his, uh...
83
00:05:25,057 --> 00:05:28,193
M-I-n-e-d?
84
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,661
[sighs]
85
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,729
Yes, honey,
you're right.
86
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,931
It is the woman's
lot in life
87
00:05:33,932 --> 00:05:35,900
To always carry the man.
88
00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:38,870
Always the helper,
never the helped.
89
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:41,138
So, what'd the doctor
say you should do,
90
00:05:41,139 --> 00:05:44,008
You big sissy?
91
00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:47,545
Well, he said I should maybe
find myself a relaxing hobby.
92
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:51,048
You know, uh, start
a vegetable garden.
93
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:53,718
A vegetable garden?
94
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:56,721
Well, you started one of those
when you had kelly.
95
00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:58,356
[all laugh]
96
00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,533
Hey.
97
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,537
I thought we were supposed to be
making fun of dad here.
98
00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:13,938
You're right, honey.
99
00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:15,539
A vegetable garden.
100
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,441
[all laugh]
101
00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:20,545
Oh, can you see your father
in a vegetable garden?
102
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,380
Hey, I can see myself
in a vegetable garden.
103
00:06:23,381 --> 00:06:26,250
Out in the open air,
working with the land.
104
00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:28,385
You know, growin' stuff
and eatin' it.
105
00:06:28,386 --> 00:06:30,521
Yep, that's what
I'm gonna do.
106
00:06:30,522 --> 00:06:32,757
I'm gonna grow myself
the bestest vegetable garden
107
00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:34,159
In the world.
108
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,327
I'm gonna grow me beans
and tomaters.
109
00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:38,262
Potaters.
110
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:41,433
Ham...Corn...Uh...
111
00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:44,702
I'm gonna fish...Fish them
little shrimps that I like.
112
00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:47,839
And...Bread.
Homegrown bread.
113
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,840
And butter.
114
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,509
And pizza
with extra cheese.
115
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,813
Kids, does anyone else
sense doom around here?
116
00:06:55,814 --> 00:06:58,616
Al [to "bonanza" theme]:
♪ dum dee-dee, dum dee-dee
dum dee-dee ♪
117
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,019
♪ vegetable garden! ♪
118
00:07:03,021 --> 00:07:05,023
I think
we all sense it, mom.
119
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,058
Al:
♪ dum dee-dee, dum dee-dee
dum dee-dee ♪
120
00:07:07,059 --> 00:07:08,793
♪ dum-dum, corn ♪
121
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:25,543
Kids, soon all this
will be yourn.
122
00:07:29,381 --> 00:07:31,482
Well, golly.
123
00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:36,988
Hey, where'd you learn to farm
and speak like a hick, daddy?
124
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:40,525
Well, kids, all you really need
for farmin' is the right tools,
125
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:42,527
A farmin'
state of mind,
126
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:46,163
And your very own copy
of farmer iggy's almanac.
127
00:07:47,466 --> 00:07:50,435
Let's see what the igster
has to say this morning.
128
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:54,171
"plant in the mornin',
vegetables a-bornin'."
129
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:00,911
Thanks a lot, mom.
130
00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:03,147
Keen choice o' dads.
131
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:05,649
Look, peg.
132
00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:09,453
The corn is as high
as an elephant's eye.
133
00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:12,356
Oh, honey, I couldn't
be prouder of you
134
00:08:12,357 --> 00:08:14,659
If you thought
you were napoleon.
135
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,862
Come, look at my beans, peg.
136
00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:21,065
Been a long time since you seen
a bean that size, eh, babe?
137
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,602
Yeah, you sure know
how to grow 'em, honey.
138
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:25,937
[chuckles]
139
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,673
Soon we will have
a bountiful harvest,
140
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,875
And you'll be cookin',
a-cannin' and a-servin'.
141
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:34,545
And I'll be eatin',
a-belchin' and a-purgin'.
142
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,182
Yep, it's been a long time
143
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:42,253
Since we've been
this happy, eh, babe?
144
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:44,888
Want a cheek
of redman?
145
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:49,160
You're still not well,
are you?
146
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:51,829
Not by a long shot.
147
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:53,330
But I'm happy.
148
00:08:53,331 --> 00:08:55,934
Now get thee
in the house, woman.
149
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,501
As farmer iggy says,
150
00:08:57,502 --> 00:09:01,072
"wife standin' near,
soon comes a tear."
151
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,747
Well, I thought
she'd never leave.
152
00:09:09,748 --> 00:09:12,951
Now it's just you and me,
hey, guys?
153
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:15,753
♪ old mcbundy had a farm ♪
154
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,488
♪ b-u-n-d-y ♪
155
00:09:17,489 --> 00:09:19,991
♪ and on this farm
there was no wife ♪
156
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:21,492
♪ b-u-n-d-y ♪
157
00:09:21,493 --> 00:09:23,461
♪ with a no wife here
and a no kids there ♪
158
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:26,230
♪ a hooker comin' over
on Friday nights ♪
159
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:32,203
♪ big luscious hooters
and a pizza and a beer there ♪
160
00:09:32,204 --> 00:09:35,006
♪ old mcbundy had a farm ♪
161
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,909
♪ b-u-n-d-y ♪
162
00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:41,512
[sighs]
163
00:09:46,317 --> 00:09:48,886
I never felt so relaxed.
164
00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:58,863
Hey.
165
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:01,265
Rabbit, give me back
my carrots!
166
00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:03,301
Ow!
167
00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:04,802
Bite me, will you?
168
00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:06,403
Well, listen to this,
buddy.
169
00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:09,641
No one bites al bundy
and lives.
170
00:10:11,176 --> 00:10:15,079
Kiss your bonnie,
bunny butt goodbye, rabbit...
171
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,249
'cause you're one dead--
172
00:10:19,117 --> 00:10:20,417
[gasps]
173
00:10:21,419 --> 00:10:24,088
Peg, he peed on me!
174
00:10:33,165 --> 00:10:36,501
Hey, kel, did you hear
about billy's dad?
175
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:40,438
He just made
vice president of his company.
176
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:43,341
Hey, bud, did you know
that holly's dad,
177
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:45,309
After many long years
of work,
178
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,112
Started his own company?
179
00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:51,449
Well, this must be the year
of the successful dad, ha.
180
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:53,484
Let's see how yours
is doing.
181
00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:58,322
Let's see if you can swim
as well as you can steal,
182
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:00,590
You bucktoothed
bandit.
183
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,496
Is he not successful too,
who foams from the mouth
184
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:08,332
And lies sputtering
on the ground?
185
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,800
Gardening has calmed me down,
186
00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:12,303
And you just can't stand it,
can ya?
187
00:11:13,305 --> 00:11:14,671
Well, you'll be cheering me
188
00:11:14,672 --> 00:11:16,807
When this bunny
comes floating belly-up.
189
00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:20,411
Yeah, you'll be
a real hero, dad.
190
00:11:20,412 --> 00:11:22,146
We can hear 'em
singing now:
191
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:25,149
"killed him a bunny
when he was 43."
192
00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:29,120
No rabbit's foot for you,
young lady.
193
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:31,255
Dad, you've had the hose on
for four hours now,
194
00:11:31,256 --> 00:11:32,789
And the ground
isn't even wet.
195
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:34,325
Where's all that
water going?
196
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:36,127
How the hell should I know
where it's going?
197
00:11:36,128 --> 00:11:37,829
I don't even know where
it's coming from
198
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,463
When it comes out
of the hose.
199
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:43,067
I just-- I just wish
I could go with it.
200
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:46,037
Shh! I hear
some squishing sounds.
201
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,806
[squishing]
202
00:11:54,545 --> 00:11:56,180
Oh!
203
00:11:56,181 --> 00:11:58,616
What did you do?
204
00:11:58,617 --> 00:12:01,852
Gee, marcie,
what happened to you?
205
00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:03,187
What happened to me?
206
00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:05,022
I finally got a date.
207
00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:08,325
A successful man.
A handsome man.
208
00:12:08,326 --> 00:12:11,395
Sure, he was married,
but he was gonna leave her.
209
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:12,964
He told me so.
210
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,266
He told me his wife
didn't understand him.
211
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,868
Like, what's so hard to
understand
212
00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:17,969
About
a 40-year-old man
213
00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:21,072
Who likes to be
spanked for his sins?
214
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,575
Anyway, we get back
to my house,
215
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,812
I open the door, and step into
my living-room pond.
216
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:31,983
It seems that some idiot
stuck a hose in the ground
217
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:34,085
And left the water on
all day.
218
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,286
So I was wondering,
219
00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:37,554
Have you seen an idiot
with a hose anywhere?
220
00:12:38,523 --> 00:12:40,357
Hey, marcie, you've given me
a good idea.
221
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:42,025
Bring your head
over here by the hole.
222
00:12:42,026 --> 00:12:44,262
He'll think it's a cabbage,
and then we'll have him.
223
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:54,304
Look, al, we all appreciate
the fact that you're insane
224
00:12:54,305 --> 00:12:56,540
And that you need
a relaxing hobby,
225
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:59,443
But maybe this gardening thing
is just a little too challenging
226
00:12:59,444 --> 00:13:01,145
At this point in your life.
227
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:05,516
Have you tried silly putty
on the comics page?
228
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:09,119
He has. He just couldn't get
the egg open.
229
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,121
Oh. Well.
230
00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:13,557
I will be sending you
a bill for the damage.
231
00:13:13,558 --> 00:13:14,925
And if you do not pay,
232
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:17,728
I will sue you
for everything you've got,
233
00:13:17,729 --> 00:13:22,099
And that includes
my garbage cans.
234
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:27,271
Great. That leaves us
with nothing in the will.
235
00:13:29,874 --> 00:13:31,976
Well, I guess
we're just gonna have to make it
236
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,178
On our good looks.
237
00:13:34,179 --> 00:13:36,313
See you on skid row,
bacon face.
238
00:13:36,314 --> 00:13:37,681
[laughs]
239
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,152
We're all
getting cranky, al.
240
00:13:42,153 --> 00:13:44,288
Did you get
that rabbit yet?
241
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:45,455
Are you kiddin' me?
242
00:13:45,456 --> 00:13:48,191
I must have poured a million
gallons of water down that hole.
243
00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:50,628
I flooded the whole block
and every living thing in it.
244
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:52,730
Now, if that rabbit's
still alive,
245
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,132
I'm yours tonight.
246
00:14:03,675 --> 00:14:05,810
You know,
the sad part is, I--
247
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:08,045
I don't
really want him. Hm.
248
00:14:09,681 --> 00:14:12,450
But a promise
is a promise.
249
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:15,753
Now look
what you've done!
250
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,256
You'll be screaming
worse than me, I'm telling you!
251
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:20,190
I'll get you for this!
252
00:14:20,191 --> 00:14:22,526
I'll make you pay for this,
I'm telling you...!
253
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,846
Okay, I'm all through
with the poison now.
254
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,347
You can take off
your masks.
255
00:14:43,348 --> 00:14:46,350
Um, not you, peg.
Uh, yours wasn't working anyway.
256
00:14:49,454 --> 00:14:53,056
Bud, dad said that you could
take your mask off.
257
00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:54,792
[laughs]
258
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:57,328
Eat dad's okra.
259
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:59,297
Lick his onions.
260
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:01,231
Kids!
261
00:15:01,232 --> 00:15:05,102
Kids, let's not forget
that daddy is the enemy here.
262
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,908
There, now,
that's better.
263
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,843
Honey,
do you think it's wise
264
00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:16,180
To indiscriminately spray
poison on a windy day?
265
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,815
Peg, if you wanna make
a rabbit omelet,
266
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,284
Sometimes you gotta
break some eggs.
267
00:15:20,285 --> 00:15:21,318
But don't worry about it.
268
00:15:21,319 --> 00:15:23,120
I read the directions
very carefully.
269
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:25,990
It's nontoxic to everything
but rabbits.
270
00:15:34,165 --> 00:15:35,365
Hi there.
271
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:37,200
Anyone been spraying poison?
272
00:15:42,273 --> 00:15:43,941
Why do you ask?
273
00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:46,143
Well, there I was,
out in our backyard,
274
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:49,446
You know, drying my tv
from the flooding,
275
00:15:49,447 --> 00:15:52,783
When a bald eagle came to drink
from my bird feeder.
276
00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:56,587
Wow. We haven't had a bald eagle
spotted in this area for years.
277
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:58,756
I know. They're very rare
and beautiful,
278
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,425
Except when they're twitching
and hacking their guts out
279
00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:03,527
On my lawn.
280
00:16:03,528 --> 00:16:04,928
You really should have seen it.
281
00:16:04,929 --> 00:16:07,197
It was quite
an excruciating death.
282
00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:08,299
Way to go, al.
283
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,467
Why don't you throw
one of your socks out the window
284
00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:13,837
And try for the last dodo?
285
00:16:13,838 --> 00:16:17,441
Well, I like to think
that I'm the last dodo, peg.
286
00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,843
But more importantly,
I'm gonna have some vegetables,
287
00:16:19,844 --> 00:16:21,312
'cause there's no way
in the world
288
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,614
That rabbit could have
have survived that death cloud
289
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:25,516
I let loose
on the neighborhood.
290
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:30,521
It lives.
291
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:34,258
Okay, fine.
292
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:35,825
I didn't ask
for a hobby.
293
00:16:35,826 --> 00:16:37,594
I hate vegetables.
294
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:41,198
But I need that garden
to relieve my stress, damn it!
295
00:16:41,999 --> 00:16:43,767
And I will have that garden
296
00:16:43,768 --> 00:16:46,670
If I have to kill
every single living thing
297
00:16:46,671 --> 00:16:49,106
In this entire,
stinking planet.
298
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:51,042
This is war.
299
00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,983
Al, what are you doing?
300
00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:14,831
[imitating elmer fudd]
be vewy, vewy quiet.
301
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:19,103
I'm huntin' wabbit.
302
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,408
Oh, boy.
303
00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:27,811
Daddy, let me give you
some advice.
304
00:17:27,812 --> 00:17:31,781
Um, I've been watching these
television show about rabbits.
305
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:33,783
[sighs]
306
00:17:33,784 --> 00:17:36,553
Don't put the barrel of the gun
down the hole,
307
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:38,322
Because what they do
308
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:39,756
Is they'll tie it in a knot
309
00:17:39,757 --> 00:17:42,526
So that it explodes
in your face.
310
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:47,163
Or sometimes
what they'll do
311
00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:49,233
Is they'll make it
really long and curved
312
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,135
So that it comes out
from a hole behind you,
313
00:17:52,136 --> 00:17:55,038
And you shoot yourself
in the butt.
314
00:17:58,175 --> 00:18:02,145
To be forewarned
is to have four arms.
315
00:18:09,187 --> 00:18:13,156
Well, princeton's loss
is the gap's gain.
316
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:17,060
Oh, mr. Wabbit!
317
00:18:18,429 --> 00:18:21,431
Come and get
a tasty cawwot!
318
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:24,868
[gunshots]
319
00:18:24,869 --> 00:18:27,571
Well, at least he didn't
shoot himself in the foot.
320
00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:29,173
Hmph.
Give him a minute.
321
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,174
[gunshot]
322
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:32,643
Al:
Ah! Ow, my foot!
323
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,378
[screaming]
324
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,916
What's he doing now?
325
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:42,920
Well, he's got
the flamethrower.
326
00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:45,855
He's aiming it
at the hole.
327
00:18:45,856 --> 00:18:47,090
He shoots....
328
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:49,993
[flame rumbling]
329
00:18:49,994 --> 00:18:51,728
And misses.
330
00:18:51,729 --> 00:18:54,031
Garden on fire?
331
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:55,766
Yup.
332
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,302
And so is
mrs. Rhoades' fence.
333
00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:02,105
Whoa!
Look at her big tree go.
334
00:19:04,508 --> 00:19:06,844
Well, at least he didn't
shoot himself in the foot.
335
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,812
Hmph.
Give him a minute.
336
00:19:11,382 --> 00:19:14,151
Al:
Ow, my foot! Ow, my-- ow!
337
00:19:15,419 --> 00:19:17,254
Oh, fire!
Ow, my foot!
338
00:19:17,255 --> 00:19:19,689
Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh!
339
00:19:34,672 --> 00:19:37,007
So this is how it ends,
eh, mom?
340
00:19:37,708 --> 00:19:40,110
As long as it ends.
341
00:19:40,111 --> 00:19:41,311
Daddy?
342
00:19:41,312 --> 00:19:42,279
[chuckling]
343
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:43,480
What?
344
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,084
Nothing.
345
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,052
Good.
346
00:19:49,053 --> 00:19:52,623
Now, I put this down
his little hole,
347
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,024
And I light the fuse,
348
00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:55,859
And bye-bye rabbit.
349
00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:08,071
[chuckling]
350
00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:09,406
The fuse is lit,
351
00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:13,376
And we'll be hit by bunny bits
any second now.
352
00:20:13,377 --> 00:20:16,680
Now do you see the importance
of an education, kids?
353
00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:18,548
Uh, dad...
354
00:20:18,549 --> 00:20:20,950
Before your fingers
hit pay dirt,
355
00:20:20,951 --> 00:20:23,553
Are you sure you didn't use
too much dynamite?
356
00:20:23,554 --> 00:20:25,455
Son, if dynamite was dangerous,
357
00:20:25,456 --> 00:20:28,158
Do you think they'd sell it
to an idiot like me?
358
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,894
Now, nothing can go wrong.
359
00:20:30,895 --> 00:20:32,896
I've taken every precaution.
360
00:20:32,897 --> 00:20:35,566
Including making sure
it was nowhere near a gas line?
361
00:20:44,075 --> 00:20:45,175
Hit the dirt.
362
00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:05,328
You know, it's such
a beautiful day.
363
00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:08,899
I hardly miss
the house at all.
364
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,369
It was a nice explosion,
wasn't it?
365
00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:13,537
But on the good side,
366
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:17,241
The ensuing fire
did dry out my living room.
367
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,009
But the sun
would have done that anyway,
368
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:21,445
Since I no longer
have a roof.
369
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:25,516
Well, that's odd.
We have two.
370
00:21:26,551 --> 00:21:29,319
Yeah, one for each wall
in my room.
371
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,156
Nobody's asked me
how my stress is.
372
00:21:33,157 --> 00:21:35,558
Oh, we're sorry.
373
00:21:35,559 --> 00:21:38,261
How's your stress,
lint-for-brains?
374
00:21:39,263 --> 00:21:40,364
I'm mellow.
375
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:41,664
You know why?
376
00:21:41,665 --> 00:21:44,734
You don't see a rabbit out here,
do you?
377
00:21:44,735 --> 00:21:46,203
Sure don't, honey.
378
00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,770
You did real good.
379
00:21:47,771 --> 00:21:50,274
That's all I wanted to hear.
380
00:22:07,591 --> 00:22:10,227
You know,
I really feel good.
381
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:11,628
Carrot?
382
00:22:14,899 --> 00:22:17,300
Peg:
That's al, folks.
383
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:41,057
[♪]